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Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Broadcasted on Discord:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Just shared via Reddit:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Breaking via Instagram:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

…

Commentary:
"Worcestershire sauce: the secret ingredient to turning my fridge into a tongue twister! 🌀😂🥫"

bottle, disaster, fridge, fridge spill, frustration, humorous, humorous frustration, kitchen, kitchen disaster, kitchen mess, mess, over, sauce, spill, unpronounceable, worcestershire, Worcestershire sauce

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

1 month ago
cat, cool, humor, i, intrusion, just, leave, life, never, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat
“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

1 month ago
delusional, describe, enough, humor, people, perception, reality, strong, word
I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

1 month ago
activity, distraction, entertainment, good, humor, i, need, phone, something, watch
I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

1 month ago
bed, everyone, exhaustion, fun, going, humor, keep, party, quiet, sleep, try
When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

1 month ago
communication, compliment, expectation, feedback, humor, irony, self-esteem
I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

1 month ago
burpees, exercise, fitness, found, humor, just, motivation, no pain, pain, procrastination, workout

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Going viral on YouTube:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Just landed via Instagram:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

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Activity Log ✨

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

I’m going to a karaoke bar tomorrow, where I’ll sing every song in the style of Yoko Ono.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I am thick and tired.

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

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Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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