Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,538

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am awake and ready to be disappointed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Shared recently on TikTok:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Going viral on Telegram:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Spotted on YouTube:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like we all deserve a "Survived Today" medal – participation trophies for everyone! 🏆🎉😊

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

0

2 months ago

automotive, car, car nap, driving, hit, humor, multitasking, nap, relaxation, sleep
I love my bed so much, what a place.

0

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, i, love, much, place, relaxation
The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

0

2 months ago

crazy, health, humor, i, just, lazy, mental, mental health, procrastination, reason, self-awareness, too
People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

0

2 months ago

decimal, difference, humor, joke, math, math humor, missing, misunderstanding, number, numbers, people, point, pun, tell, whole, wordplay
90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

0

2 months ago

90s, cloning, Earth, flat earth, Flat Earther, humor, last, Mars, robot, round, science, scientists, sheep, time, today
Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

0

2 months ago

headphones, humor, instrument, inventor, kid, learn, learning, music, noise-canceling, parenting, pretty, sure, trying, young

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Just shared via Discord:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Seen just now on Messenger:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Spotted on Slack:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Trending via Telegram:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

I love my bed so much, what a place.

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨