Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Making waves on Facebook:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Live now on TikTok:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Spotted on TikTok:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Trending via Facebook:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Spotted on X:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Switching a white screen is like an accidental trip to the beach without sunglasses! 😎🌞 #EmbraceTheDarkSide"

computer, dark, dark mode, feel, humor, me, mode, screen, screen time, screens, staring, sun, technology, time, white, white screen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

0

2 months ago

after, better, communication, humor, i, irony, left, mistake, realize, regret, say, saying, silence, things, thoughts, unsaid
They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

0

5 months ago

clarity, day, humor, invent, invention, sense, should, thinking, where, wishful, wishful thinking
God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

0

2 months ago

creation, divine, God, humor, i, irony, making, memory, remember, self-reflection, stupid, stupidity
Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

0

2 months ago

good, humor, metaphor, morning, motivation, only, positivity, wind, wings
Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

0

2 months ago

bed, count, exercise, fitness, getting, humor, laziness, motivation, resistance, should, training
I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

0

2 months ago

away, dreams, escape, humor, i, imagination, murder, plan, silly, wake

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Seen just now on Instagram:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Spotted on Reddit:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Live now on YouTube:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Breaking via YouTube:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨