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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Shared recently on Threads:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Trending via WeChat:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Just landed via Facebook:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Switching a white screen is like an accidental trip to the beach without sunglasses! 😎🌞 #EmbraceTheDarkSide"

computer, dark, dark mode, feel, humor, me, mode, screen, screen time, screens, staring, sun, technology, time, white, white screen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

1 month ago
humor, hurricane, i, irony, language, letter, middle, pretty, wit, wordplay
The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

3 months ago
breakup, feeling, humor, i, man, minute, mother, over, relationship, start
“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

1 month ago
anxiety, around, awkwardness, comfortable, communication, humor, quiet, sarcasm, social, social anxiety, thanks
How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

1 month ago
effort, exercise, fitness, humor, loss, motivation, results, video, weight, weight loss
I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

1 month ago
dumb, dumb nonsense, dumbest, else, ever, fall, groupthink, humor, i, individuality, irony, never, nonsense, opinion, opinions, perfectly, unique, unique opinion, victim
Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

1 month ago
ever, humor, insomnia, sleep, struggle, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

I always imagined WWIII would be Earth vs. aliens.

Live now on Discord:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Broadcasted on X:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Making waves on Facebook:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Making waves on WeChat:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

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Activity Log ✨

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

The science between bragging about a man and him disappointing you immediately after needs to be studied.

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Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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