Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Just landed via Reddit:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Spotted on Facebook:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Just landed via Slack:

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your Harvard degree clashes with my middle school diploma: "What's a dissertation?" 😂📚🧠

argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

0

5 months ago

ago, animal, animals, better, cat, cat owner, easily, failure, food, giving, holy, humor, i, judge, just, organ, organ failure, owner, pet, pets, shit, starve, stubborn, taste, time, too, used, weeks, whim
I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

0

2 months ago

dumping, except, health, humor, media, mental, mental health, oversharing, person, private, private person, public, social, social media, trauma, trauma dumping
If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

0

2 months ago

back, banana, humor, insult, mess, motivation, posture, reminder
My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

0

2 months ago

accident, animal, animal behavior, behavior, bird, clumsiness, flying, humor, self-deprecating, spirit, spirit animal, unconscious, window, Windows
I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

0

2 months ago

break, conversation, dating, five, guy, guys, heart, heartbreak, humor, i, love, me, relationship, seriously, seriousness, take, talk, wants
Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

0

2 months ago

affection, fun, humor, kiss, likes, little, media, relationship, romance, should, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Messenger this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

47 shares on X this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

80 shares on X this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

68 shares on Slack this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

42 shares on X this month:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

16 shares on Discord this month:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Just landed via Slack:

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

Just shared via Slack:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Shared recently on Slack:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Spotted on Instagram:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Spotted on Pinterest:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Going viral on X:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Going bananas on Discord:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Going viral on Reddit:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨