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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Seen just now on Threads:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Just landed via Threads:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Going bananas on Discord:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Making waves on YouTube:

Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Going viral on Twitch:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Just shared via Discord:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Making waves on TikTok:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your Harvard degree clashes with my middle school diploma: "What's a dissertation?" 😂📚🧠

argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

0

2 months ago

celebration, December, end, festivity, holidays, humor, irony, reflection
Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

0

2 months ago

around, baby, being, course, cry, eaten, flying, humor, plane, understanding
Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad relationship, dating, Facebook, Facebook memory, humor, i, life, love, love life, majority, me, memory, men, regret, relationship, taste, thank
I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, dollars, dream, humor, joke, life, million, missing, money, wealth
Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

0

2 months ago

dating, gifts, humor, jewelry, just, laid, nice, relationships, romance, shopping, should, stores, trying
Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, cooky, diet, eat, eating, finish, food, holidays, humor, indulgence, longer, temptation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on X this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

26 shares on Slack this month:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

100 shares on Twitch this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Trending via Telegram:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Going viral on WeChat:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨