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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Just shared via Threads:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Trending via Snapchat:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Going viral on Messenger:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your Harvard degree clashes with my middle school diploma: "What's a dissertation?" 😂📚🧠

argument, arguments, dating, education, humor, misunderstanding, outside, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

0

2 months ago

electricity, embarrassment, everyone, hate, humor, i, live, live wire, shock, skeleton, wire
You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, communication, contact, danger, dangerous, date, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, me, relationship, social, social interaction, tell, want
I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

0

2 months ago

closet, fashion, humor, i, joke, money, spending, visibility, wealth
Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, contacts, deserve, hope, i, just, merry, phone, wishing, work
Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

0

2 months ago

bartender, cave, caveman, drink, humor, joke, ones, pun
Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

0

2 months ago

confidence, forever, fun, Heelys, humor, ride, skate, swag

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

81 shares on X this month:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Making waves on Discord:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Just shared via YouTube:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Spotted on Slack:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Spotted on Threads:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨