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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Making waves on Messenger:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Making waves on YouTube:

Half princess, half menace.

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Wings won't help me fly, but they certainly lift my mood! 🍗😆

activity, comparison, eating, flying, food, food humor, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, joke, opposite, wings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

0

2 months ago

humor, invention, irony, relaxation, rest, should, wicked
Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

0

6 months ago

actually, astrology, demon, frustration, humor, Mercury, Mercury retrograde, midnight, retrograde, soul, wrap
Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

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2 months ago

app, bruise, came, health, humor, idea, invention, mystery, technology, where
“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

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2 months ago

affection, dealer, drug, drug dealer, family, gap, generational, generational gap, grandma, hand, humor, joke, love, man, money
It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

0

2 months ago

choose, every, jacket, time, where, wrong, year
I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

0

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Twitch this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

95 shares on Discord this month:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

98 shares on TikTok this month:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Going viral on Slack:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Just landed via Reddit:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Just shared via Facebook:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨