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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Going viral on Messenger:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Shared recently on X:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

Going viral on Discord:

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

Funny quote about ignoring neighbor noise to critique their moaning performance.
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Commentary:
When the neighbors turn into amateur opera singers, it's my cue to play judge with scorecards! 🎶🎭👏

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

45 shares on WeChat this month:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

12 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

74 shares on X this month:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Going bananas on Slack:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Just shared via WeChat:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Just landed via Instagram:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

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