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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,277

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Spotted on YouTube:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Just landed via Reddit:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

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Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.
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Commentary:
Well, isn't that the (back)breaking truth! 🙊💃 It seems like miracles happen when it's time for some romantic rendezvous, huh? Who knew that the power of love could heal all aches and pains! 🌟😂 Time to stock up on some romance for your chiropractic needs! 💖💆‍♂️ #LoveConquersBackPain

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Telegram this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

18 shares on YouTube this month:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

100 shares on Threads this month:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

27 shares on X this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Making waves on WeChat:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Seen just now on Slack:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Live now on Messenger:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

Trending via Facebook:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

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