Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • For the record, I use a turntable.
  • My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.
  • If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.
  • How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.
  • Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.
  • I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.