Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Just shared via Twitch:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Seen just now on Slack:

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Just landed via WeChat:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Trending via Messenger:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Spotted on TikTok:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Just shared via Threads:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Going bananas on Slack:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When love and blockchain collide: straight to the digital wallet! 💘💻🚀

crypto, cryptocurrency, date, dating, dating idea, first date, humor, idea, joke, me, money, transfer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

85 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Just shared via TikTok:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Trending via Snapchat:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Broadcasted on Threads:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Keep the laugh going 😂

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨