Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Freshly posted on X:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Seen just now on Threads:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Going viral on Messenger:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Going viral on Threads:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

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Commentary:
When love and blockchain collide: straight to the digital wallet! 💘💻🚀

crypto, cryptocurrency, date, dating, dating idea, first date, humor, idea, joke, me, money, transfer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

2 months ago

confidence, earlier, humor, i, insult, insulting, me, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, wit, work
“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

2 weeks ago

being, big, eat, environment, food, forced, humor, microplastic, microplastics, plastic, pollution, pollution problem, problem, ready, satire, tired
I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

2 months ago

card, cards, credit, credit card, finances, humor, i, joke, limit, spending, too
Googling symptoms until you cry.

2 months ago

anxiety, cry, diagnosis, Googling, health, humor, internet, search, symptoms
The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

2 months ago

funny observation, humor, looks, observation, Ohio, pun, tractor, visual, visual pun, word, wordplay
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

2 months ago

childhood, humor, kid, nap, proud, relaxation, wish

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

98 shares on X this month:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

54 shares on YouTube this month:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

83 shares on X this month:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

33 shares on Discord this month:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Spotted on X:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Shared recently on Discord:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Just shared via Discord:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Live now on Discord:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Making waves on Instagram:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Live now on Reddit:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Googling symptoms until you cry.

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨