Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Going viral on X:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Going bananas on X:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Shared recently on Slack:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Trending via WeChat:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Trending via Pinterest:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Seen just now on Instagram:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about dating with a humorous twist on cryptocurrency transfers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When love and blockchain collide: straight to the digital wallet! 💘💻🚀

crypto, cryptocurrency, date, dating, dating idea, first date, humor, idea, joke, me, money, transfer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

74 shares on YouTube this month:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Making waves on Facebook:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Breaking via Reddit:

Nothing is complicated when you’re simple-minded like me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Making waves on Telegram:

Clicking on a suspicious link at work just to feel something.

Shared recently on X:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Making waves on Reddit:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨