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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Going bananas on Slack:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Trending via Reddit:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Going viral on Telegram:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Trending via Facebook:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Just landed via Telegram:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Seen just now on X:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

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Commentary:
Playing it safe, as long as you're not number six! 🎱😂🔫

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Slack this month:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

Shared recently on X:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Social media is mental suicide.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Broadcasted on X:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Seen just now on Threads:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Broadcasted on Threads:

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

Just landed via Telegram:

Dying and being reincarnated as a beetle, and crawling to my old body’s grave, and digging down and living in my old ribcage.

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