Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Shared recently on Discord:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

Making waves on Reddit:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Spotted on X:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

For Halloween, you should be mine.

1 month ago

Clever Halloween-themed quote expressing affection with a playful, humorous vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Stealing hearts and candy this Halloween! 💘🍬👻

flirtation, Halloween, holiday, love, mine, pun, romantic, should

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Instagram this month:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

72 shares on Slack this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Trending via Instagram:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Trending via Snapchat:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Just shared via Telegram:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Going viral on Discord:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Just shared via X:

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For Halloween, you should be mine.

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨