Commentary:
"Looks like the couch is on a mission to save you from the evil clutches of exercise! 🦸♂️💪 Who needs a workout when you have a trusty couch sidekick ready to defend you at all costs? 😂🛋️ #CouchPotatoForLife"
179 Funny actually quotes
It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.
Commentary:
"Discovering that your rock bottom is actually just a pit stop on the way down the mountain 🏔️🤔 Who knew the bottom had a basement level? 😂"
Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone went from fergalicious to fergusting real quick! 🤢 Maybe a little ferga-recharging is in order! 💁♂️ #NotFeelingFergaliciousToday"
Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.
Commentary:
🦴💀 Well, having a skeleton in your closet takes on a whole new meaning with this quote! Who knew an actual skeleton could end up being the ultimate conversation starter… posthumously. Maybe it can be your unique way of leaving a lasting impression on future archaeologists! 💁♂️ #SkeletonInTheCloset #GraveyardHumor
Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.
Commentary:
💁♀️👶 What a clever observation! Nicole Kidman starring in a movie called Babygirl is just too fitting – it's like a playful nod to her surname! No wonder she shines in roles that are simply meant to be 👏 #PerfectMatch #BabygirlNicole
I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.
Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but compliments are forever! 🎉 Embrace the aging process, just make sure to add some extra years for those sweet, sweet 'you look amazing' comments! 😉👵 #ForeverYoung"
Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.
Commentary:
“BRB, just realized the grass is neon back home! 🚀🌱✨”
Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.
Commentary:
"Ah, Netflix, the ultimate tease! All these movies at your disposal, yet the one you're craving is nowhere to be found 🙈🍿 It's like looking for a needle in a haystack, but hey, at least you'll discover some hidden gems along the way! 😅🎥"
Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.
Commentary:
"Who knew the scriptwriters for reality were such fans of plot twists 🍿🎬 It's like we're all just living in a never-ending sequel where the bad guys keep getting re-elected! 🦹♂️💔 Let's hope the resolution includes a plot twist ending where the heroes finally triumph! 🦸♂️✨"
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.
Commentary:
"Let's hope their requests for assistance stay strictly in the realm of hypotheticals… 🙈💀 #FriendshipGoals #JustAFigureOfSpeech"