Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Trending via Threads:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Making waves on X:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Live now on TikTok:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Trending via Instagram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Trending via Slack:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

15 Funny assumption quotes

More funny assumption quotes 👇

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

3 weeks ago

always, appearance, assumption, baby, compliment, humor, i, just, looks, parenting, people, tell
When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

3 weeks ago

assumption, going, hate, humor, i, making, me, relationship, say
My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

3 weeks ago

assumption, bed, childhood, cream, exactly, friend, friends, happening, humor, i, ice, ice cream sundae, kid, me, parent, parents, put, sundae, us
Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

3 weeks ago

assumption, boring, humor, i, just, life, people, together, unfair
Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

3 weeks ago

assumption, drinker, funny posts, humor, morning, morning drinker, noon, posts, someone, wake, wake up

For even more funny assumption quotes, hit next 👇

All funny assumption quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

74 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

60 shares on X this month:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Making waves on YouTube:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Live now on Messenger:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Trending via Slack:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Spotted on Facebook:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Just landed via Facebook:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Just shared via WeChat:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

15 Funny assumption quotes

More funny assumption quotes 👇

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

All funny assumption quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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