Commentary:
Adding imaginary conquests to the resume now—my dream life is more exciting than my real one! 😂💤💔
221 Funny body quotes
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
Commentary:
When your brain hits the eject button, love must be in the air! 😜💘🧠
According to the BMI chart, I am too short.
Commentary:
Who knew my height needed a growth chart adjustment? 😂📏
May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.
Commentary:
Here's hoping your jeans are more forgiving than your alarm clock! 🍑👖😂
I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.
Commentary:
Sounds like my bed is the only thing holding me together! 🛏️😂😴
So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.
Commentary:
When you've got the heart of a lion, but the size of a purse dog 🦁🐕
Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?
Commentary:
Puppy mode activated! What mysterious wonders have you sniffed out this time? 🐶🔍🍖
I want this laziness removed from my body.
Commentary:
If only I could uninstall my laziness like a bad app! 😂📱➖
Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.
Commentary:
In 5 years, I'll be the same person with extra layers of wisdom and pizza! 🍕🤣
By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.
Commentary:
Wardrobe full of "goal outfits" ready to debut in 2040! 😅👗👖 #OptimisticFashionista