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New funny quotes: 6 this month

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

212 Funny body quotes

Funny body quotes highlight the quirks, surprises, and hilarious realities of living in a human suit! 😄💪 Whether it’s mysterious aches, loud stomach growls in quiet rooms, or your body deciding to nap at the worst times, these quotes remind us that our bodies might not be perfect — but they sure are entertaining. Get ready to laugh from head to toe! 😂🦵🧠

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You wish you had this many chins.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Who decided that skeletons are scary? Because honestly, I’d be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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