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New funny quotes: 6 this month

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

58 Funny business quotes

Funny business quotes add a humorous spin to the corporate world! 💼😂 From witty remarks about meetings and deadlines to playful observations on office life, these quotes capture the lighter side of business. Enjoy a laugh and find some fun in your workday! 😄📊

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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