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Oh no, imagine getting a pitchfork instead of a candy cane! π
πΏ Let's hope dyslexic folks triple-check their addresses before sending letters this holiday season! π¬π
103 Funny Christmas quotes
Trending Funny Christmas Quotes π₯
- The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.
- Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.
- When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.
- What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.
- I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I donβt live in a commercial.
More funny Christmas quotes π
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"Oh, just casually dropping a 'hello' to Santa like it's no big deal, but we all know it's just a clever ploy to get on the nice list π πΌβ¨ #SantaKnowsBest" -
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"Talk about tough luck! Five mass extinctions survived, only to meet a furry fashion critic with killer instincts π¦π #ThanksADecorativeHouseCat" -
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Ah, the joy of being single during the holidays. π While everyone else is busy decking the halls and roasting chestnuts over an open fire, us single folks are pros at putting on a brave face and pretending that we're totally fine spending another night alone with our Netflix queue. ππ Just think of it as an extended opportunity to practice your solo dance moves and enjoy the entire box of chocolates without any judgment! ππ« #SingleBells # -
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π πΌπ Looks like my kids have mistaken me for Santa π€ΆπΌπ° Who knew fulfilling their Christmas wishes came with such a hefty price tag! ππ¨βπ©βπ§βπ¦ #ParentingPerks -
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"Looks like this year's Christmas letter is going for that 'behind the scenes' experience! π π₯ Who needs Jingle Bells when you have colons to serenade you? ππ© #TMIChristmasSpecial" -
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ππ "If you like Christmas so much, why don't you merry it? Because who needs mistletoe when you can just marry Santa?" ππ Embrace the holiday spirit all year round with your very own jolly ol' fella! πβ¨ #ChristmasEveryday -
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"Who needs expensive toys when you have a toddler whose favorite game is hide-and-seek with household items? ππ Not only are you saving money, but you're also promoting the spirit of recycling! β»οΈπ #ParentingHacks" -
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Looks like the spirit of Christmas tilted more than just your tree! ππ Your wife may have uncovered your secret past as a world-renowned architect. Who knew decorating could reveal hidden talents? ππ
Top Funny Christmas Quotes π₯
- People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.
- Christmas decor isnβt meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.
- I donβt want to alarm anyone, but thereβs only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.
- I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasnβt arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.
- If it turns cold one more time, Iβm gonna put the Christmas tree back up.
For even more funny Christmas quotes, check out the next page, if available π
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Funny Christmas quotes make everything better β work, Mondays, and even bad weather. π§οΈπ
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