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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Shared recently on Messenger:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Spotted on Twitch:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Seen just now on X:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Funny coffee cup quotes

Funny coffee cup quotes ☕️😂 are the perfect way to kickstart your day with a smile! Whether you need a caffeine boost or just some giggles, these witty sayings add personality to your morning routine. Brighten up your desk, impress your coworkers, and sip in style with cups that speak your mood loud and clear. Ready to brew some laughter? Let’s dive into the funniest coffee cup vibes around! 🎉☕️✨

New funny coffee cup quotes 👇

All funny coffee cup quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Facebook this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

40 shares on Facebook this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

14 shares on Facebook this month:

If I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, I’d pick living.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I have a yearning disability.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Live now on Telegram:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Going viral on Twitch:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Trending via WeChat:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

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