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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Shared recently on Discord:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Making waves on YouTube:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Just shared via Instagram:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Reported on Threads:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Just landed via WeChat:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Going viral on TikTok:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Making waves on Twitch:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Making waves on Instagram:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Seen just now on Discord:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

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