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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Live now on Slack:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Trending via Twitch:

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Reported on Messenger:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Freshly posted on Threads:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Just landed via Discord:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Spotted on Telegram:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Broadcasted on Slack:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Shared recently on Slack:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Spotted on YouTube:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Making waves on WeChat:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Trending via Pinterest:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Live now on Snapchat:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

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