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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Going bananas on Instagram:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Just shared via WeChat:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Breaking via Telegram:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Live now on Discord:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Just shared via Instagram:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Making waves on Instagram:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Funny congrats quotes

Funny congrats quotes bring the perfect mix of laughter and celebration to any achievement 🎉😂 Whether it’s a promotion, graduation, or just surviving Monday, these witty lines add sparkle ✨ and smiles 😄 to your messages. Ready to make someone’s day extra hilarious and memorable? Dive into a world where congratulations meet comedy 🎈🤣 and turn ordinary moments into unforgettable fun!

New funny congrats quotes 👇

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

0

3 weeks ago

30s, compliment, congrats, dating, decision making, humor, panic, person, pick, relationship, should, unmarried, wrong
Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

0

2 months ago

again, another, congrats, humor, i, introvert, know, meeting, never, person, social
In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

0

2 months ago

4, commitment, congrats, contract, humor, me, news, relationship, therapist, therapy, year
Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

0

3 months ago

bigger, business, congrats, deadline, even, fired, firing, hitting, humor, missing, number, numbers, performance, pressure, q3, Q3 number, q4, Q4 number, work
I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

0

4 months ago

5, congrats, congratulation, drunk, drunk text, engagement, friend, girl, glasses, humor, i, media, old, old friend, post, reaction, social, social media, someone, spoken, sweet, text, wine

All funny congrats quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

16 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent crushes that like you back.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Making waves on Twitch:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

Seen just now on Messenger:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Just shared via TikTok:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Shared recently on Discord:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Going viral on YouTube:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Trending via Threads:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

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