Commentary:
Who needs bedtime action when you can have bedtime fiction? 🛌📖😴
346 Funny conversation quotes
Think that’s enough todaying for today.
Commentary:
When you reach peak 'todaying' and your couch starts calling your name 😅🛋️🔔
Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.
Commentary:
Sure, let's protect the sacred silence between me and my barber—communication involves scissors and nods, not dialogue! 💇♂️✂️🙊
One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.
Commentary:
Time to channel my inner British aristocrat 🫖👑 Fancy a cuppa while I flaunt my kettle-on skills? ☕😄
“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.
Commentary:
Is it time for an excavation or am I just digging myself into a philosophical hole? 🕳️🔍😂
If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.
Commentary:
Like asking if I've got just one potato chip: impossible! 😂📱🍟
If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.
Commentary:
Trying to imagine 400 lads from Liverpool starting a band… sounds like the world's largest pub choir! 🍻🎤🎶
Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're getting top-secret intel from the neighborhood squirrels 🐿️🔍🌳
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.
Commentary:
Buckle up, we're taking the scenic route through Storyville! 🚗📜🤣
My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.
Commentary:
Getting ready to stuff myself with turkey and lots of "Joe Briden" debates 🍗😂🦃