Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Cartoons make it look like getting stabbed in the butt with a pitchfork would be no big deal, but I beg to differ.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Trending via Reddit:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Seen just now on Slack:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Seen just now on Slack:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Going viral on WeChat:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Making waves on Threads:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Funny drain quotes

Funny drain quotes 🛁💦 bring a splash of humor to those pesky clogged moments! Whether you’re battling gunk or just appreciating the quirks of plumbing, these witty lines will drain away your stress and flush in the laughs. Get ready to giggle as we dive into the lighter side of life’s little blockages! 😂🚰 #DrainHumor #PlumbingLaughs

New funny drain quotes 👇

All funny drain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Messenger this month:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

72 shares on X this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

40 shares on Threads this month:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I need money, not feelings.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

55 shares on X this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

97 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Going viral on Instagram:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Just shared via TikTok:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Just shared via WeChat:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Making waves on Reddit:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Just landed via Instagram:

No matter how busy my Sunday gets, I always manage to set aside time to panic about Monday.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

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