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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Shared recently on Slack:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Reported on X:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Going viral on WeChat:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Just shared via Slack:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Seen just now on Discord:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Shared recently on Threads:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Spotted on X:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Shared recently on X:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Seen just now on X:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

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