Commentary:
Every time I wait in front of those doors, I feel like I'm auditioning for an invisible friend's club! 🚪🤦♂️😂
96 Funny everyday quotes
My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.
Commentary:
Story of my life—it's a real skill losing things while still holding them! 🙈📱🕵️♂️
Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.
Commentary:
Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂
Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”
Commentary:
When you're on the throne but forgot your crown 👑🚽🤣
I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.
Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?
Commentary:
When you find out that your neighbors have been decluttering, not downsizing their trash cans 😂🗑️🚗
Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.
Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" 😴🗺️🙆♂️
To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.
Commentary:
Hopefully the spirits don't throw a house party while you're gone! 👻🎉🛒
Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.
Commentary:
RIP to those fancy mugs that are now just fancy dust collectors ☕️🕯️✨
Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.
Commentary:
"Guess I'll hold the fort here on Earth! 🚪🤦♂️🛸🌕"