153 Funny expectations quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

  Commentary:
  🐠 Just keep swimming, they said. But who knew the dating pool was more like a fishbowl! 🐟 It's like trying to find your lobster in a sea of sharks. Maybe it's time to upgrade to the ocean and broaden our horizons! 🌊 #DatingStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

  Commentary:
  Adulthood is essentially a never-ending rollercoaster where the promise of relaxation is always just out of reach 🎢😅 It's like chasing after a mirage in the desert, except that mirage is a quiet weekend that never seems to materialize! 🏜️💼 Just keep chasing those elusive moments of peace between meetings and deadlines until the end of time! ⏳😂

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic childhood dream of growing up to struggle! 💪🏼👶🏼 Who needs easy street when you can take the scenic route through challenges, am I right? 😅 Keep aiming high, even if that means aiming for a struggle! 🎯 #LifeGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the joys of finally reaching that age where the appropriate response to news of pregnancy isn't just panic and confusion 😅👶 Congratulations on reaching this milestone of adulting where feigning excitement becomes a necessary skill! 🎉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

  Commentary:
  "Congratulations on surviving another Thursday! Just remember, it's not a near-death experience, it's just a regular day in adulthood 😅🎉 #AdultingLikeAPro"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

  Commentary:
  "Alcohol: the original performance-enhancing elixir – unless you count stumbling and slurred speech as top-tier talents! 🍹🙃 #DrinkResponsibly"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

  Commentary:
  "Adulting: looking the part on the outside, while inside you're just a hungry child with dinner dreams! 🍕🤣 #AdultingStruggles #ForeverHungry"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

  Commentary:
  ☕️ "I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations – it's like a daily ritual of preparing for disappointment with a side of caffeine kick! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

  Commentary:
  "Who knew proverbs could be so judgmental about our waking habits? 🐛😂 Maybe it's time for some updated wisdom: 'Early bird catches the worm, but the late risers get brunch instead!' 🕰️🍳"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like she got her literary jargon a bit mixed up! 📚😅 Someone needs to brush up on their dystopian terminology before dropping it into casual conversation. Can't be throwing around 'Orwellian' when you're clearly swimming in 'Kafkaesque' waters! 🐟📝"

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