Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Trending via Telegram:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Going viral on WeChat:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Making waves on Reddit:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Trending via X:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Trending via YouTube:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Just shared via Discord:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Funny false quotes

Funny false quotes are the ultimate recipe for laughs and surprise! 😂✨ These cheeky mix-ups twist famous sayings or invent outrageous wisdom that’ll have you scratching your head and chuckling out loud. 🤔🤣 Perfect for brightening up your day or spicing up conversations, they prove that sometimes, bending the truth is the best way to spread joy! 🎉📢 Ready to dive into a world where humor meets clever nonsense? Let’s go! 🚀

New funny false quotes 👇

All funny false quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Discord this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Trending via X:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Going viral on Slack:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Breaking via Reddit:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

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