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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Spotted on Facebook:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Spreading quickly via X:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Going viral on Instagram:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Just shared via Threads:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Trending via Pinterest:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Freshly posted on X:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Reported on Reddit:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Just shared via YouTube:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Going viral on X:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Just shared via Reddit:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

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