Commentary:
Sounds like a lot of work! 😅🛋️ #ProcrastinationGoals
306 Funny getting quotes
Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward.
Commentary:
Sounds like earning that degree is more entertaining than finally challenging a dog to chess only to find out he plays a better endgame than you 🐶♟️💸
You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.
Commentary:
When even your grocery list starts grooving to the beats, you know it's time to embrace your inner supermarket DJ! 🛒🎶🕺
The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.
Commentary:
Time for a system reboot? Asking for a friend who really enjoys 0 AD parties! 🙏🎉🔄
What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.
Commentary:
Just remember: an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute! Choose wisely! 😂✈️🪂
Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.
Commentary:
Well done, you've officially won the highly coveted Slowest Race trophy! 🏆🐢🚦
Getting road rage alone in my house.
Commentary:
Taking detours through my living room traffic jam again! 🚗🛋️🛑
My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.
Commentary:
Rise and shine, only to recline! 😴☀️
I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.
Commentary:
Looks like their plan worked a little too well! 😅🙈🎉
Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.
Commentary:
Currently feeling like the celery's sidekick on a wing night! 🥬😅 #ForeverSingleSideDish