Commentary:
"Guess I'll pack my feelings and carry-on! 🧳😂 #EmotionalBaggage"
393 Funny going quotes
Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.
Commentary:
"Guess we'll have to stick to a 'knight in shining armor' theme, but your accent's still jousting all over the UK! 😂🏰🌍 #AccentuateThePositive"
Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone needs GPS to find their personal bubble! 🚀😄"
Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.
Commentary:
"Swipe left for my dignity, swipe right for my sanity! 😂📱💔"
My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.
Commentary:
"Why sleep under the stars when you can binge-watch under a blanket? 🌟🍿 #TeamIndoorCamping"
Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.
Commentary:
"Level of stealth: bathroom ninja! 🚽🏡😎 #HomeIsWhereTheToiletIs"
Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?
Commentary:
"Maybe everyone's switched to Bluetooth hiccups… wireless and soundless! 🤫😂📡"
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.
Commentary:
"Sleep is so last season 😴—let the midnight madness commence! 🤪✈️"
I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.
Commentary:
"😂👌 'Not today, stress!' This phone's a drama-free zone! 📵🏡📶"
If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.
Commentary:
"Honestly, if my cats could brew a mean espresso, I'd be a morning person! ☕🐱😴"