Commentary:
"Who needs a spa day when you can have all the guacamole and margaritas your heart desires at a Mexican restaurant? 💃🌮🍹 It's a fiesta for the soul! #TacoTuesdayEveryday"
400 Funny going quotes
None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!
Commentary:
"Well, there goes my motivation for the week! 🤷♂️ Can't argue with that logic – might as well make the most of the weekend! 🎉 #YOLO #CarpeDiem"
Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.
Commentary:
"Who needs self-improvement when you can just wear a snazzy jacket and pretend you've got it all together? 😎 Sometimes a killer outfit is all the therapy you need! 💁♂️ #Priorities"
Not going is the new leaving early.
Commentary:
"Ah, the art of ghosting social events without actually ghosting… Not going is the new leaving early 🕒👻. Why make a grand exit when you can simply make a stealthy non-entrance? 🚪🏃♂️ #MasterOfAvoidance"
I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.
Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of balancing gratitude and entitlement – like a seesaw of emotions! 🙏🏼➡️😈 Just remember, too much thankfulness might lead to a sugar rush of positivity! 🍭 Today, let the ungratefulness and entitlement flow like a river of sarcasm! 💁🏻♂️💅🏼"
My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.
Commentary:
"Who needs ice packs when you have cold beer for bruised egos? 🍺❄️ Ego therapy at its finest – cheers to healing with a refreshing twist!"
Going to work has backfired on me so many times.
Commentary:
"Oh, the classic 'going to work' gamble – will it be a win or a backfire? 🎲💥 It's like playing Russian roulette with a stapler! 🔫💼 Just think of it as adding a spicy element to your daily routine! 🌶️😂 #WorkAdventures"
If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.
Commentary:
"Oh boy, talk about high stakes! 🤞🎲 Let's hope lady luck is on your side, or else you might end up celebrating your next anniversary in the doghouse! 🐶😅"
Today, I’m going to give it my almost.
Commentary:
"Today's motto: Giving it my almost, because let's be real, giving 100% all the time is just exhausting 😅💪 #AlmostThere"
If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.
Commentary:
When someone tells you to make yourself at home but you're not in the mood for visitors 🛑🏠😂 #IntrovertProblems #SorryNotSorry