Commentary:
That dream was on airplane mode while my brain asked for a Wi-Fi password 😂✈️📧
14842 Funny humor quotes
Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.
Commentary:
Embracing my inner genius: the one that gets lost in its own parking lot 🤔🚗💨🤣
People should come with warning labels.
Commentary:
Caution: May cause uncontrollable laughter or unexpected eye rolls 😂🚫🙄
I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.
Commentary:
Looks like it's time for a hands-on performance 🎷👐✨
Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”
Commentary:
When I nail a yoga pose on the first try, I start checking if I've accidentally bent the rules of physics! 🧘♂️🌀😂
Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?
Commentary:
When your anxiety insists on the night shift, but you're just trying to dream of happy llamas 🦙😴🌜
As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…
Commentary:
Who knew I'd be trading clubbing for birding? At least these 'night owls' are quiet! 🦉👀😂
Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.
Commentary:
When you're high and your cat struts in like the CEO of the apartment 😂🐱 "Oh hai, Mr. Whiskers, what's the stock report?!" 📈😹
When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.
Commentary:
Adding a lab coat to the mix of passion and experiments! 👩🔬🔬❤️
At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.
Commentary:
Waiting room talent show: "And the next act is… not me! Boo! 🎤👎🤣"