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Looks like it's time for a hands-on performance 🎷👐✨
14849 Funny humor quotes
Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”
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When I nail a yoga pose on the first try, I start checking if I've accidentally bent the rules of physics! 🧘♂️🌀😂
Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?
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When your anxiety insists on the night shift, but you're just trying to dream of happy llamas 🦙😴🌜
As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…
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Who knew I'd be trading clubbing for birding? At least these 'night owls' are quiet! 🦉👀😂
Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.
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When you're high and your cat struts in like the CEO of the apartment 😂🐱 "Oh hai, Mr. Whiskers, what's the stock report?!" 📈😹
When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.
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Adding a lab coat to the mix of passion and experiments! 👩🔬🔬❤️
At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.
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Waiting room talent show: "And the next act is… not me! Boo! 🎤👎🤣"
There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.
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Mastering the art of the ninja exit, leaving drama and noise in the dust 🥷🚪💨
Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.
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True adventure is just going to the grocery store and returning without losing a sock! 🧦😂🏡
I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.
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If only being annoyed could lower my electric bill! 🔌😤⚡️