Commentary:
Wishing I could hit snooze on life's alarm clock! 😂⏰💤
14852 Funny humor quotes
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.
Commentary:
I've always been a fan of motherly advice, especially when it involves naps! 😴👩👦
Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.
Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert! 😂✏️🗑️
I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.
Commentary:
Looks like even Google knows I'm dedicated to freestyle life choices 🤷♂️💻🤣
Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.
Commentary:
Massive income: the real dream we didn't know we had 😂💸 #IfOnlyMoneyGrewOnTrees
Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.
Commentary:
Getting shorter with age: nature's way of helping you fit into tighter spaces! 🕯️😂🎈
Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.
Commentary:
Bring back the blooper reels! I need to see my favorite actors proving they're human, one flub at a time! 🎬😂🤦♂️
Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.
Commentary:
Apple juice: the introverted cousin at the fruit cocktail party 🍎🍹😄
Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.
Commentary:
Guess that person really needed a saucy hobby! 🥚😆🥄
Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.
Commentary:
When you drop 'radical' in a convo and watch the confused looks, that's when you've truly traveled back in time 🚀😎📟