Commentary:
Guess I'm a genius when I'm listening to classical, but just mildly interesting when I switch to pop! 🎶🧠
14852 Funny humor quotes
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!
Commentary:
Cheers to aging gracefully—or at least pretending we do after a good glass! 🥃😄 #BourbonTherapy
My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.
Commentary:
Sounds like your bed should be giving motivational speeches with its level of persuasion! 🛏️😂☕
Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.
Commentary:
Hope it doesn't start browsing for better travel partners! 🧳😂✈️
My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.
Commentary:
I totally relate to that bird—always aiming high but occasionally having a face-off with reality! 🤪🕊️💥
I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.
Commentary:
Time's got a PhD in healing but skips sunscreen class 🤔😂☀️
ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.
Commentary:
When my motivation hears ASAP: Assemble Sloths At Party 🦥🎉
Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?
Commentary:
When your swag has its own volume control 😎🔊🙉
My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.
Commentary:
When you spot someone you know and suddenly become an undercover agent on a top-secret mission 🕵️♂️🤫😂
What are cats even trying to do?
Commentary:
Trying to break into the nap Olympics and master the art of ignoring humans! 🐱😴🎯