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Classic strategy of using intelligence as an expendable resource 😂🧠💸
5658 Funny i quotes
Philosophy majors be like, “I got a thought due tomorrow.”
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Deep thoughts and no deadlines, that's the real existential crisis 😂🧠💭
I have never fully recovered from the fact that I exist.
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Still trying to get a refund on my existence subscription 😅🤔✨
I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams aura energy approaching.
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Bracing for impact with the Sunday Scaries: The Teams Tension is real! 💻😅⏰
That moment when I Google footballers who look 35, and they’re 21.
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When life cheats you out of a decade and your age is suddenly the best kept secret in sports 😂⚽️🔍
Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.
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That's the kind of kindness that deserves a standing ovation! 👏🤐😄
Some people miss exes, I miss only the clothes I didn’t buy.
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When love left, all I really missed was that killer sale! 🛍️💔😄
I have to let karma fix it because if I fix it, I’m going to jail.
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When karma's your only alibi 🤷♂️🚔😄
I will never understand why every patient takes almost an hour with the doctor, but when I go in, I’m out in less than five minutes.
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Guess I'm just too healthy for their liking! 🤷♂️🏥😂
I don’t care how you were raised. You’re an adult, unlearn that nonsense.
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Breaking news: Adulting requires software updates! 🤓🔄