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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Trending via Messenger:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Spotted on WeChat:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Breaking via Reddit:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Live now on Messenger:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

33 Funny interview quotes

More funny interview quotes 👇

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

3 weeks ago

answer, apparently, funny response, humor, inappropriate, inappropriate answer, interview, interview question, job, job interview, motivation, question, response, spite
A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

3 weeks ago

conversation, humor, interaction, interview, job, job interview, liar, social, social interaction, workplace
I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

3 weeks ago

application, applying, candidate, competition, frustration, humor, i, interview, job, jobs, keeps, meet, taking

For even more funny interview quotes, hit next 👇

All funny interview quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

45 shares on X this month:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

11 shares on Threads this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

15 shares on Threads this month:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I woke up alive again.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Seen just now on YouTube:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Just landed via Telegram:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Going viral on Slack:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Just shared via YouTube:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Going viral on WeChat:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

33 Funny interview quotes

More funny interview quotes 👇

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

All funny interview quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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