Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

Going viral on Instagram:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Just landed via X:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Live now on Telegram:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Just shared via Instagram:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Just landed via Slack:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

33 Funny interview quotes

More funny interview quotes 👇

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

3 months ago

belly, funny response, humor, hunger, hungry, i, interview, job, job interview, lady, lunch, missed, response, success, today, told
Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

4 months ago

3, asking, doing, employee, employees, happy, hiring, humor, i, interview, job, jobs, let, me, please, reference, references, same, start, talk, think, workplace
At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

4 months ago

confidence, heir, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, think, throne

For even more funny interview quotes, hit next 👇

All funny interview quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Twitch this month:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

89 shares on TikTok this month:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

37 shares on X this month:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for food and only find ingredients.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Coworker: Where are you going after work? Me: Away from you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

33 Funny interview quotes

More funny interview quotes 👇

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

All funny interview quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨