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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,358

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Shared recently on YouTube:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Going viral on TikTok:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Going bananas on Instagram:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Trending via YouTube:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Broadcasted on X:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Just landed via X:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Going viral on X:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

73 Funny light quotes

More funny light quotes 👇

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

2 weeks ago

alien, aliens, fiction, here, humor, Jersey, joke, light, light year, new, New Jersey, science, science fiction, travel, visit, year
My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

2 weeks ago

age, body, check, check engine light, engine, health, humor, light, maintenance, self-deprecation, year’s
I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

2 weeks ago

cocktail, hope, humor, i, irony, light, molotov, Molotov Cocktail, want, world
I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

2 weeks ago

Christmas, Christmas light, human, human version, humor, light, lights, mess, personality, tangled, version
Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

2 weeks ago

anticipation, crappy, decorations, festively, holiday, holiday light, humor, irony, life, light, lights, put, seasonal, wait
I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

2 weeks ago

bill, divine, divine light, electricity, end, expenses, humor, i, joke, light, me, sunlight, think, tunnel
Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

2 weeks ago

activity, funny activity, gardening, house, house plant, humor, indoor, indoor plant, light, nature, next, plant, plants, rain, window
I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

2 weeks ago

ability, admire, block, car, cars, exactly, frustration, humor, i, light, sun, visor, where
But that was my emotional support daylight.

2 weeks ago

daylight, emotional, emotional support, humor, light, support
“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

3 weeks ago

car, engine, engine light, humor, light, maintenance, means, sarcasm, working

For even more funny light quotes, hit next 👇

All funny light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WeChat this month:

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

83 shares on Threads this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

82 shares on X this month:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

71 shares on Threads this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

70 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Trending via Messenger:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Just landed via Facebook:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Activity Log ✨

73 Funny light quotes

More funny light quotes 👇

All funny light quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨