Commentary:
When your energy drink unlocks DLC colors for your vision! 🥤🌈👀
2117 Funny me quotes
Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Commentary:
When you finally accept that you can't change how much coffee you need to face the day but muster the courage to swap to decaf at 3 PM 🧘♂️☕️😅
My toxic trait is thinking every inconvenience is the universe personally attacking me.
Commentary:
Guess I'm not paranoid, the universe *is* out to get me! 🌌🔍😅
Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.
Commentary:
Ah, the Christmas tradition of exchanging the exact same gift card amount… it's the thought (and math) that counts! 🎅💸🎄
Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.
Commentary:
Who needs therapy when you've got a circle of friends and pizza nights 🍕😂 #FriendshipGoals
Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.
Commentary:
I'm prepared for the most fascinating TED Talk on rubber duck history! 🦆✨📚
I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.
Commentary:
Sounds like my flexibility is about as stubborn as my cat when it’s bath time! 🐱🛁🙆♂️
I need to move to New York and be miserable. I think it’d be so good for me.
Commentary:
Sounds like a new self-care trend: "The Big Apple Misery Detox" 🍏😅🗽
Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’
Commentary:
Guess it's called "variety" when you own four shades of "almost the same" 😆👕👕👕👕
If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.
Commentary:
Ghosts better bring their A-game, because I'm about to teach them the true meaning of Joy-Con drift! 👻🎮🎄