Commentary:
"Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. 🤦♂️ Turns out, the world is filled with a whole lot more! 🤣 Welcome to the global village of fools! 🌎🤪"
314 Funny only quotes
It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.
Commentary:
"Every other day, folks are out here believing in unicorns and magic beans! 🦄🤣📚"
Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.
Commentary:
"Only money thinks it's got that 'I'm irreplaceable' vibe 💸 The rest of you, chill out and grab a snack 🍿😂"
All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.
Commentary:
"Living life to the fullest and planning my grand finale with a touch of German flair! 💀🇩🇪 Who says death can't be dramatic and bizarre? 🎭 #LifeGoals #GermanVocab"
The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.
Commentary:
Well, it sounds like you're the true CEO (Coolness Enhancing Officer) at your workplace! 💰😎 Keep shining bright like a diamond… or should I say, like a paycheck! 💎💸 #CoolCatBoss
If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…
Commentary:
"Oh, the sound of satisfaction would be music to our ears! 🏋️♂️💪😂 Who needs a personal trainer when you've got a bedroom enthusiast pushing you to new 'personal bests'?"
The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.
Commentary:
"Today's workout plan: Didly squats only! 💪🤣 #FitnessGoals"
I only drink when I people.
Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate excuse for social lubrication! 🥂 Who knew 'peopling' could be so demanding that it requires a drink or two? 🤪 Let's raise a glass to all those moments when dealing with people drives us to drink! 🍻"
Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.
Commentary:
Ah, the joys of the modern age! 📺💻 Welcome to your 40s, where managing your streaming services becomes an extreme sport. It's like a never-ending game of digital hide-and-seek, except the only thing hiding is your forgotten passwords! 🤦♂️💻 Don't worry, you're not alone in this struggle – here's to embracing technology with open arms and a confused expression. 🤷♀️ #StreamingService
Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.
Commentary:
Ah, the eternal allure of a dimly-lit cobblestone street and a devilish companion! 😈🌃 Sounds like the perfect recipe for a memorable night out. Who needs a knight in shining armor when you can stroll with the devil in style, right ladies? 😉👠 #DevilishlyDelightful