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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

If you pick a movie that’s longer than the flight, the pilot gets a notification to fly around for a bit.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,765

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Going bananas on YouTube:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Making waves on Messenger:

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Breaking via Messenger:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Funny pluck quotes

Funny pluck quotes are here to brighten your day with a dash of courage and a sprinkle of humor 😄✨ Whether you’re facing a challenge or just need a little boost, these witty lines will have you laughing while feeling unstoppable 💪🐥 Ready to embrace bravery with a smile? Let’s dive into some clever and quirky wisdom that proves pluck can be seriously funny! 🎉😂

New funny pluck quotes 👇

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

3 weeks ago

chin, chin hair, coma, ever, funny request, hair, humor, please, pluck, request
Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

4 weeks ago

act, boy, boys, difference, dramatic, ever, eyebrow, gender, gender difference, girl, girls, humor, man, pain, pluck, say, shot
I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

1 month ago

beauty, extra, hair, humor, i, know, pluck, sacrifice, self-care, white
Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

1 month ago

1994, 6, aging, back, chin, chin hair, exaggeration, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, facial, facial hair, five, friends, friendship, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, never, pluck, single, time, today

All funny pluck quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

37 shares on X this month:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

72 shares on X this month:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

13 shares on Discord this month:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

We are the last generation of programmers who know the deadly feeling of seeing the exact problem in our code, on Stack Overflow, with 0 answers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Going viral on Slack:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Breaking via Discord:

I had too much to think last night.

Live now on WeChat:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

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