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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

7 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Making waves on Twitch:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Reported on Twitch:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Seen just now on X:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Reported on X:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Just shared via TikTok:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Trending via Telegram:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Home » Funny Resolutions Quotes

Funny Resolutions quotes

Funny Resolutions quotes bring a hilarious twist to your New Year goals 🎉😂 Whether you’re dodging the gym or promising to eat more pizza 🍕, these witty sayings remind us that resolutions don’t have to be serious all the time. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe procrastinate a little more—with style! 😎✨ #NewYearNewLaughs

New funny Resolutions quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Commentary:
Cheers to another year of perfecting the art of repeating history with an impressive level of enthusiasm! 🥂🎉 May our mistakes be legendary and our optimism unwavering as we embark on this thrilling journey of trial and error! 😄 #NewYearSameMistakes
5 months ago
Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
5 months ago
Share →: Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Commentary:
"Excited to dive headfirst into a fresh year of questionable decisions like a boss! 🎉🤪 Who needs a coherent life plan when you have spontaneity as your sidekick? Let's make 2022 a year to remember (or forget)! 🤣🎆"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Commentary:
🎉🥳 "I'm done with making resolutions! It's about time the years step up their game and start being better, don't you think? 😆 Let's see some improvement, 2022! #NewYearSameMe" 🙌
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Commentary:
"Who needs resolutions and commandments when you've got charm and wit? 😏 It's all about living on the edge and breaking the rules with style! 😜🔥 #RebelWithACause"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Commentary:
Looks like someone prefers bending the laws of nature over following their resolutions 😉🌿🔮 Embrace that wild and unstoppable energy! 🌀💫 #RuleBreaker

For even more funny Resolutions quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Resolutions quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

7 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Trending via TikTok:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

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