Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁
368 Funny say quotes
When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.
Commentary:
Looks like "speechless" comes with a warranty for unlimited words 🚫🗣️😆
This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.
Commentary:
Looks like he's auditioning for a role in the next Fast & Furious movie! 🚓🎬😂
Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.
Commentary:
That level of commitment deserves a tick of approval… or maybe a sticky note reminder! 😂📋🖊️
People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.
Commentary:
Teamwork may make the dream work, but it also makes my eye twitch! 😂🤝🥊
I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.
Commentary:
Guess I'll start researching new identities and plane tickets just in case! 🚽✈️🤣
I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.
Commentary:
When it comes to hints, I'm on a strict see-no-clue diet. 🙈🤷♂️🔍
They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.
Commentary:
Leveling up my genius points, one blunder at a time! 😂🧠✨
“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic "I'm-totally-not-going-to-fall-for-this-oh-wait-here-I-go-again" move 🤦♂️🙈
Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”
Commentary:
Only in America do we celebrate Independence Day in Reverse Date Mode 🤔🇺🇸🎆