Commentary:
Looks like you've gone hog wild! Time to reel it in and give the pigs a break! 🐷🥓😂
368 Funny say quotes
If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.
Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Turns out my 'goodnight' had a snooze button! 😴🔄🤣"
When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!
Commentary:
"Why did the mosquito slap me and call it 'human karma'? 🤔🦟😂"
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”
Commentary:
"Pancakes are the only acceptable breakfast discourse! 🥞😂 But seriously, where's the waffle outrage committee when you need 'em? 🤷♂️ #BreakfastDebates"
I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.
Commentary:
"When your productivity level is higher than the clouds 🌿⛅ but you still forget where you left your phone 😅📱 #PabloProblems"
They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”
Commentary:
"When you snooze, you lose. But when you nappy, you're snappy! 😴😂 #SleepWins"
I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.
Commentary:
"Of course, the world couldn't end with everyone trying to perfect their horse dance moves! 🐎💃 #GangnamGlitch #ApocalypseAverted"
Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.
Commentary:
"Wow, who would have thought that the internet is just a worldwide open mic? 🎤💬😂 #AnythingGoes"
Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”
Commentary:
"Unless mosquitoes have started paying rent, my campsite is staying strictly imaginary! 🏕️🤷♂️😂"
Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.
Commentary:
"Huh? Oh wait, my brain just woke up! 😂🔄#BrainLag"