Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Spotted on YouTube:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Seen just now on X:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Going viral on Telegram:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Shared recently on Threads:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Funny section quotes

Funny section quotes bring a burst of laughter and lightness to any page 🎉😂 Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever twist to brighten your day, these witty gems never disappoint 💡😜 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as you dive into a world where humor rules and good vibes flow freely 😎✨ Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your own content!

New funny section quotes 👇

All funny section quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

99 shares on Slack this month:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,691

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I would prefer not to.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Spotted on Snapchat:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Trending via Telegram:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Seen just now on Threads:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Spotted on Discord:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Trending via Telegram:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

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