Commentary:
Guess I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter because I'm clearly living in a fantasy world! 🧙♂️✨😂
112 Funny sex quotes
Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.
Commentary:
Balancing between candle-lit dinners for one and launching a space mission to find someone who likes quiet… 🚀🍷😂
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?
Commentary:
Getting that spark back hits different! 🔥✨ Depression: 0, Me: 1! 😎✌️
Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.
Commentary:
When life gives you existential dread, just remember: deep breaths and chocolate cake save the day 🍰😅
Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.
Commentary:
Finding extra money in my account feels like discovering a treasure chest full of ice cream! 🍦💸😂
Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.
Commentary:
Trying new things in 2023: Limbo champion at the bead curtain farm 🐴🚫🏆
I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.
Commentary:
Finally, a plot twist I can get behind! 📚😅 #SelfImprovement
I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.
Commentary:
Can't decide if I'm more jealous of their shoes or their bank accounts! 💸👠😂
Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.
Commentary:
"Life goals: always be in a taco or cuddle position. 🌮😂 #DreamBig"
Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.
Commentary:
"That's one way to keep those hands busy! 😂🥪✋👋"