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Sex is fun, but nothing beats the thrill of slamming your laptop shut after conquering tab city 🎉📚💻
117 Funny sex quotes
The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.
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Putting the sexy in spectacles—watch out, things are about to get blurry! 🤓🔥🚫
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.
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Who knew changing the scenery could make the same ol' dance so much fancier? 💃🕺🏨✨
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?
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When you realize holding onto the corner of a fitted sheet is the most committed relationship you’ve ever been in 😂🛏️
Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.
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Love-hate relationships: translating emotional turmoil into cardio! 😂❤️🔥 #MixedSignals
If sex was real, I think I would’ve had it by now.
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Guess I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts acceptance letter because I'm clearly living in a fantasy world! 🧙♂️✨😂
Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.
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Balancing between candle-lit dinners for one and launching a space mission to find someone who likes quiet… 🚀🍷😂
Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?
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Getting that spark back hits different! 🔥✨ Depression: 0, Me: 1! 😎✌️
Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.
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When life gives you existential dread, just remember: deep breaths and chocolate cake save the day 🍰😅
Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.
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Finding extra money in my account feels like discovering a treasure chest full of ice cream! 🍦💸😂