Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Just landed via Instagram:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Just shared via Facebook:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Trending via Telegram:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Just landed via TikTok:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Trending via Reddit:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

28 Funny sexual quotes

More funny sexual quotes 👇

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

1 month ago

comedy, hard, humor, innuendo, joke, making, quit, sexual, sexuality, struggle, trying
I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

1 month ago

acceptance, bad, bad behavior, behavior, color, equality, humor, i, judge, judgment, me, need, orientation, people, religion, sarcasm, sexual, sexual orientation, skin, skin color
Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

1 month ago

digestion, gastrointestinal, health, humor, problem, problems, sexual, spiritual
Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

1 month ago

attraction, dating, friend, friendship, humor, men, relationship, sexual, sexual attraction
The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

1 month ago

bisexual, confusing, confusion, every, frequency, humor, once, relationship, sexual, term, twice, week
The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

1 month ago

alternate, alternate reality, awkward, awkward feeling, daydream, feeling, humor, i, imagination, me, reality, sexual, sexual tension, tension
When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

1 month ago

almost, conversation, feels, friend, friends, humor, i, never, science, scientific, sex, sexual, talk
The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

1 month ago

book, books, buying, humor, me, reading, relationship, sexual, sexual tension, shopping, tension

For even more funny sexual quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sexual quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

75 shares on Slack this month:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Trending via WeChat:

No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Live now on Instagram:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Just shared via Reddit:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Activity Log ✨

28 Funny sexual quotes

More funny sexual quotes 👇

All funny sexual quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨