Commentary:
Trying to stay low-key on Twitter like a ninja in a library 📚🤫 #AvoidTheSpotlight
544 Funny social media quotes
Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.
Commentary:
Watching that hairline retreat like it's on a permanent vacation! 😂✈️🏖️
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.
Commentary:
Guess I'm waiting for a modern Mr. Darcy to pop up in my DMs instead of just popping up in my notifications 😂📱📖
The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic social media paradox: more fame, more stress, and more need for caffeine! ☕📱😅
Why is everybody on LinkedIn thrilled all the time?
Commentary:
Guess LinkedIn swapped the 'endorse' button with a 'mandatory happy dance' button!
I post for my other personalities. They’re huge fans.
Commentary:
Does each personality get its own password, or do they all share one?
First in my bloodline to scroll Twitter for hours.
Commentary:
Breaking family records one tweet at a time!
Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.
Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's the ultimate triple threat—swipe left if you're funny, swipe right if you're just here for the memes 😂📱💔
Using Twitter as a semi-vague posting journal for memory purposes.
Commentary:
Sounds like a solid plan until my future self tries to decode those cryptic tweets! 🚀☎️🤔
People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.
Commentary:
And here I thought I had finally achieved time travel! 🚀😂 #AheadOfTheGame