99 funny summer quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

May 26, 2026

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

May 26, 2026

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

May 26, 2026

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

May 26, 2026

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

May 26, 2026

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

May 26, 2026

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

May 26, 2026

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

May 26, 2026

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

May 26, 2026

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

May 26, 2026

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

May 26, 2026

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

May 25, 2026

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

May 25, 2026

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

May 25, 2026

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

May 25, 2026

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

May 24, 2026

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

May 24, 2026

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

May 23, 2026

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

May 23, 2026

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

May 23, 2026

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

May 23, 2026

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

May 22, 2026

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

May 22, 2026

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

May 22, 2026

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

May 22, 2026

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

May 22, 2026

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

May 22, 2026

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

May 22, 2026

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

May 22, 2026

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

May 22, 2026

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

May 22, 2026

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

May 22, 2026

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

May 22, 2026

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

May 21, 2026

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

May 21, 2026

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

May 21, 2026

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

May 21, 2026

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

May 21, 2026May 21, 2026

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

May 21, 2026

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

May 21, 2026