99 funny summer quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

May 19, 2026

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

May 19, 2026

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

May 19, 2026

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

May 19, 2026

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

May 19, 2026

It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.

May 19, 2026

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

May 19, 2026

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

May 18, 2026

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

May 18, 2026

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

May 18, 2026

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

May 18, 2026

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

May 18, 2026May 18, 2026

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

May 18, 2026

The weather is getting hotter, so it’s only right I do the same.

May 18, 2026

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Mar 31, 2026

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Mar 31, 2026

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Mar 31, 2026

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Mar 31, 2026

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Mar 31, 2026

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Mar 31, 2026

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Mar 31, 2026

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Mar 31, 2026

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Mar 31, 2026

Me, aged 20: This is internship summer. I will get an internship. I will find a job. I will study. I will read. I will learn piano. I will… Me, nowadays: This summer, I’m going to try all of the ice cream flavors.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Mar 31, 2026

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Mar 31, 2026

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Mar 31, 2026

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Mar 31, 2026

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Mar 30, 2026

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Mar 30, 2026

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Mar 30, 2026

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Mar 30, 2026

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Mar 30, 2026

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Mar 30, 2026

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Mar 30, 2026

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Mar 29, 2026

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Mar 29, 2026

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Mar 29, 2026