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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

You look like the result of a failed CIA experiment.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Going bananas on Discord:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Making waves on WeChat:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Just shared via Messenger:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Just landed via Twitch:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Funny tap quotes

Funny tap quotes 💧😂 turn everyday moments into hilarious memories! Whether it’s the sound of dripping water or the art of awkward bathroom breaks, these witty lines will have you giggling nonstop. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your day, get ready to dive into a splash of humor that’s as refreshing as a cool tap on a hot day! 🚰🤣 #TapLaughs #QuirkyQuotes

New funny tap quotes 👇

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

3 days ago

balls, bottled, bottled water, drink, fluoride, gland, health, humor, let, micro, microplastics, pineal, pineal gland, spring, tap, tap water, water
Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

3 days ago

bad, head, humor, normal, people, tap, tested, testing, watermelon
Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

1 week ago

comfort, familiarity, home, tap, tap water, taste, water, where
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

2 weeks ago

conversation, got, humor, i, know, left, people, person, talking, tap, time, video, while, wish
Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

3 months ago

brain, dance, ever, every, funny thought, humor, i, insomnia, little, mind, mistake, overthinking, restless, restless mind, sleep, sometimes, tap, tap dance, thought, through, want

All funny tap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

14 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

14 shares on Slack this month:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,432

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Going viral on WeChat:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Just landed via Slack:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Just shared via X:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Just landed via Discord:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Going viral on Messenger:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Just shared via TikTok:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

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