Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,231

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate when I finish a show and don’t know what to do with my life.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Going viral on Twitch:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Just landed via Twitch:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Seen just now on X:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

Funny tap quotes

Funny tap quotes 💧😂 turn everyday moments into hilarious memories! Whether it’s the sound of dripping water or the art of awkward bathroom breaks, these witty lines will have you giggling nonstop. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your day, get ready to dive into a splash of humor that’s as refreshing as a cool tap on a hot day! 🚰🤣 #TapLaughs #QuirkyQuotes

New funny tap quotes 👇

All funny tap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

90 shares on Messenger this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

22 shares on Discord this month:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,692

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Just shared via Discord:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Trending via Pinterest:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Just landed via TikTok:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Just shared via Facebook:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Just landed via TikTok:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Spotted on Facebook:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Live now on Facebook:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

Freshly posted on X:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

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