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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Going viral on Instagram:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Trending via Twitch:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Spotted on Slack:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Spotted on Facebook:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Going viral on Discord:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Just shared via TikTok:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

813 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,975

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,975

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Seen just now on X:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Just shared via Reddit:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Reported on Snapchat:

“It’s not that deep.” Of course it’s not. With a shallow mind like yours, nothing ever is.

Breaking via X:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Just shared via Twitch:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

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