Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Seen just now on YouTube:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Just landed via Reddit:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

2 months ago

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Relatable! Dating or just a one-person comedy show starring me? 🎭😂

being, date, dating, fun, going, hard, humor, i, just, me, much, personality, relationship, self-love

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36 shares on Threads this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

52 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

57 shares on Discord this month:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Breaking via Twitch:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Going viral on Threads:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Making waves on X:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Breaking via Reddit:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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