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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Making waves on Instagram:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

Shared recently on Discord:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Going bananas on Threads:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Making waves on Instagram:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess who's the king of the driveway now? 🏠🔑😎

comeback, homeless, homeless man, house, house key, humor, i, insult, interaction, irony, just, key, keys, loser, man, me, social, social interaction

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

0

2 months ago

best, diarrhea, guy, humor, laughter, medicine, suffering
I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

0

2 months ago

adult, being, humor, i, joke, life, responsibility, sarcasm, stepping, stepping down, thank, tired
Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

0

2 months ago

complaints, conversation, daughter, giving, headache, humor, i, manufacturer, me, parenting, sarcasm, suggestions, today
No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

0

2 months ago

401k, adulting, fear, financial, financial planning, fright, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, just, planning, year
My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

0

2 months ago

am, disturb, disturbed, do not disturb, enough, humor, humor quote, i, phone, self-deprecating, technology
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anyone, else, fact, fun, fun fact, give, humor, i, icebreaker, interaction, introvert, listen, love, me, most, reflect, reflection, small, small talk, social, social interaction, talk, time, while

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on X this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Stop dating if you have no car.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Live now on Threads:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Trending via Reddit:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Going viral on Instagram:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨